Sweet Sixteen

Ah, Sweet Sixteen. It brings back the memories of overdone, overwrought parties filled with anxious adolescents seeking that elusive teenage liberation. It recalls memories of a John Hughes movies jammed with longing, lust, angst, wild keggers and Long Duck Dong. (As an aside, has any lead in a teen comedy been more of a washout than Jake Ryan? He dumps his hot girlfriend, misses the best party of the year, at his own house no less, while he's upstairs looking through his yearbook, then spends Saturday outside the church on the off chance that he can make out with Molly Ringwald. What a waste.) It also brings to mind the crucial round of the NCAA basketball tournament. By now, most of the pretenders have been sent packing, along with the hopefuls and you're left with the teams that have a legitimate chance. At this point anyone can reel off 2 wins to reach the final four and 4 wins to the championship is not an unreasonable thought for any of them. Here are my picks for Thursday's matchups (and I'll stick with the John Hughes/Sixteen Candles theme):

North Carolina -8.5 against Washington State. This matchup is Jake Ryan's girlfriend Caroline, the hottest girl in school, against Samantha Baker (Molly Ringwald). On the surface it's a no-brainer, Caroline is the party-hungry prom queen who looks about 25, but if you remember, Molly Ringwald sneaks in and steals Jake while Caroline is busy partying. She lost focus. Carolina better not do the same. I think they'll recover from WSU's mind-numbing tempo in time and squeak out a victory, provided that they don't simply try to outscore WSU and actually put forth a semblance of a defensive effort. If they come to play on the defensive end, WSU will end up like Sam Baker in the locker room, wrapped in a towel and staring in envy.

Louisville -3 against Tennessee. The line tells you everything you need to know about this one. It's Anthony Michael Hall against Jake Ryan. One is the higher seed who peaked prior to everything getting started and has been looking sluggish throughout. The other has everything going for it at the moment and is trying to make big things happen. I like Louisville to wake up the next morning in a Rolls Royce in the parking lot with the prom queen.

Xavier +1 against W. Virginia. This is a little more interesting and you have to really look to find the right comparison, but eventually you realize that it is Bryce against Cliff, the two geek brothers who are Anthony Michael Hall's best friends. In the movie Cliff is the more confident of the two and seems to be the leader but in the long run you realize that it is Bryce, played by John Cusack, who had the staying power. W. Virginia is the sexier pick with Huggins, Joe Alexander and an upset win over Duke but I think Xavier, who has a better 6'9" inside outside player in Josh Duncan and tremendous offensive balance, will use its depth to its advantage and be standing at the end. Look for Xavier's stellar FT shooting to be the difference in the endgame.

UCLA -12.5 against W. Kentucky. This looks to be the least competitive game of the day, both in reality and spread-wise. I liken it to Joan Cusack vs. the water fountain. Joan Cusack eventually wins an ugly, comic battle and you feel a little guilty for laughing but you do anyway. UCLA advances.