Poker Interlude

So I've been waiting on Bill to get through his stories where they would finally mesh with my own and he's almost there, but until he reaches that point I don't want to provide any details to his hilarious recap by giving my perspective on the events in Vegas where our poker paths crossed.

So for now, I'll give you a recap of my most recent home tournament escapade, in which I made a play so horrendous, so absolutely mind-boggling idiotic, that if anyone had suggested that I give more money to the prize pool as some sort of penalty, even after I had busted, I would have nodded my head and paid it. Really, it's that bad. On a cringe-inducing scale, it falls probably somewhere between watching Jim Mora, Sr. give a press conference and seeing slow motion replays of Lawrence Taylor snapping Joe Theismann's leg over and over.

I'll get to that shortly. First, the setup: Same structure as usual, two rebuys available, 30 minute levels, 1500 in starting chips. 41 people turned out, a great showing for a home tourney and the prize pool promised to be juicy. Unfortunately, as I sat down, I noticed a slew of the game's regulars and strongest players also grabbing seats at my table. No big deal, I decided. I had promised myself I would be aggressive with my stack and I was at first, right out of the gate firing at flops with nothing when I missed and 3 betting pots where I had raised preflop. I built a stack and then watched it drain away as those same plays fell perfectly into the hands of players who, you know, actually had made hands. So shorty I ran for a good long while as just absolute dreck found its way into my hands. I mean, not even a whiff of cards that I could push my stack in and hope to double with (with the rebuys, my short stack was almost assuredly getting called down when it got in.) Still, I knew that I had to get it in and quickly. No point in hanging around with few chips when shoving can, at the very least, double my stack through a rebuy.

And that is exactly what happened. No, this is not the horrendous play. Not yet. Patience. It's awful, I promise. No, this was one of those "I see a face card, I'm all in regardless of my other card" hands. One of those hands so forgettable and ordinary that, well, I've forgotten what it was. Either way, I can confirm that I did not win and I joined the chorus of those pitching in money for a rebuy. My table had dispatched a player and unluckily for us, drew another player I recognized as a tough regular. The table tightened up and my cards seemed intent on proving that it is not true that a player cannot have a deuce in his hand every hand for nine consecutive hands. I wish I were kidding. With a slew of players still going, my chances of cashing looked bleak unless I could catch some breaks or power my way through the Nordic conditions at my seat.

Luckily, a little of both happened. My table lost another player and fortunately for me, broke just into 100/200 blinds. At this point I was still on my exact rebuy of 1500 one way or another (I believe I got a walk through on my BB post-rebuy.) Anyway I move to another table, now down to 3, and am moved into, what else, the 200 big blind. And what else is new, I look down at 2...10. Munson. I mean, Brunson. Miracuolously, three limpers come in and I check. The flop throws a Jack high rag board that also includes a 2, pairing me. I remind myself that I am now ahead of any A,x hand that just missed the flop and with only 1300 behind and 900 in the pot already, I decide to fire. I push it all in and two hands fly into the muck, followed by a big stack ever so slowly, one by one, counting out the chips to make 1300 and moving them in.

"I've got a deuce" I say, and flip my cards, "And I'm ahead?" as the villain turns over a Q,6 offsuit that has missed everything. Huh? My previous tablemates from the brutal first table eyeball one another as the turn and river brick out and I more than double up. So this is how the play is going to be over at our new table is the common thought flashing across their eyes. After the solid, tight play previously, for me at least, it is welcome. As is the A,K I look down at on my very next hand when I raise a limped pot up and then am subsequently re-raised to 1800 by an all-in shove. I call and this new villain tables a 10,10 that holds and I'm back down again. No fear, however, as I immediately hit a flop as I play my rush and drag another pot. Unfortunately for me though, is that after only about 6 hands at this table I'm carded out to switch again. Two smart, solid players are now on my left but at the other end of the table are a couple of bigger stacks that have apparently called everything and drawn out. And as often happens with those players, eventually the cards don't fall their way and they don't adjust their play and boom, boom, boom, in only a few hands, they're out and an opportunistic, patient player is stacking their chips. I was not that lucky player on this night though, as my big hand of Q,Q raised up a raiser who then buckles under my pressure. A little later, with blinds moving up, I make a semi-bluff when my AcJc flops two clubs and I get my chips in first against the player to my left. Luckily, he is one of the players at the table who can realize hand ranges and potential crippling calls and analyze if there is a better spot to get his money in. Even though he has me on something that he suspects is worse than his hand (he is claiming 2nd pair, 8s) he eventually mucks it. A little rabbit hunting is somewhat ugly for me as it turns out I would have made my flush on the river and felted him.

After this, I mostly play position as my little run of good and decent cards ends and I go back to picking up zilch. I make big raises to steal blinds a couple rounds in a row and maintain my stack, which is on the low/middle end. Not in dire straits by any means yet but when blinds move, pots build fast and fold equity lowers almost exponentially. The other remaining table sees more action as our host is absolutely marauding through his tablemates, busting players and then following that by bullying the shorthanded table. Finally, he felts another and we're down to the final table.

I draw the worst seat, to the host's right, inches from his mammoth chip stack. As far as what I need to do, I know it: I need to double up quickly or my stack is ending up ten inches to the left. However, the one thing I do like about this position is that it will be easier, if I pay close attention, to try and get a quick read on the big stack's starting hands if he lets anything slip. More than any other player, when cards were dealt, if he moved for his, I was watching covertly. If he didn't, I was trying to gauge his reaction to others' raises. Sometimes big stacks don't want to get involved with certain other players, and as the host, he knew everyone at this table better than the rest. Little things I was trying to pick up.

Two smaller stacks busted almost immediately, bringing us to 8. Fortunately for me though, one of them was not Mr. Q,6 offsuit. Because after biding my time through a round of blinds and folding under combined pressure and poor hands, I look down at K,2 in the BB and again it's an unopened pot. A king flops for me and I make the "No mistake, I've got a K, you should fold now" all in move. Once again, chip...chip...chip...push it in call, this time with...Q,J off?? Which has again missed like a Chris Dudley free throw??? I'll take it, and when the turn brings another king and clinches it for me, I do.

Now I'm back in good shape. And after I flop a Q a couple hands later and take the rest of Mr. Q,6's chips, thus becoming the final table's Mr. Fortunate timing, I am up over 14,000 in chips at the 500/1000 stage of the table and we are now down to 7. Top five are cashing and the top 3 spots are a tidy little profit. The table is moving, some good play with chips getting out there. The two smart, solid players who had been on my left at the 2nd to last table are now both to my right. The big stack is to my left, with a small/medium stack, 2nd biggest stack and another small/medium stacks to his left rounding it out.

Which brings us to The Worst Hand I've Ever Played.

Don't worry, I didn't forget. That, my friends, would be impossible.

To Be Continued...